


Run Away Train

by AHM1121, Raya91



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Artist Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Dirty talk lots and lots of dirty talk, Fluff, Just all the anal things, Lots of smut and feels, M/M, Maybe Slow Burn Maybe Not Seriously who knows, Model Bucky Barnes, On the Run, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Praise Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, Smutty Train sex, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-28 12:19:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15048881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHM1121/pseuds/AHM1121, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raya91/pseuds/Raya91
Summary: Leaving an abusive relationship was the hardest thing Bucky had ever done. A $750 train ticket out of South California will take him across the country to freedom. The man he shares the compartment with, the artist, he just might be what Bucky needs to realize the world doesn't have to be so cold. A cross country train-ride love story that delves into past abuse, the beginning of trust, and the chance at finding a new place.





	1. Run Away and Window Gaze

 

The train ride would take approximately a week. One week to get as far away as a $750 ticket would buy him. That left Bucky $1,378.45 of savings he had kept under the floor board to be able to get an apartment, hotel room, shit even just a cardboard box to stay in. That money meant the ability to find freedom, his freedom was the state of Maine, and he’d be damned if he ever ended back on that Southern California hell hole again. His knee bounced wildly as people boarded the train, he had to resist the urge to sink down into his chair; he settled for lowering his hat to shield his eyes. “For fucks sake hurry up, go go go,” his brain practically screamed. Finally, as people still continued to stream by into different compartments the train began to move. A sigh of relief left him involuntarily as he closed his eyes and put his head back.

 

When the door to his compartment slid open, Bucky’s eyes snapped open, hand instantly reaching for his bag (for his knife), he searched the strangers face. Blue startled eyes struck him first “Oh God, I am so sorry to wake you, ummm it just there’s.... a lot of people on this train and this is the only free seat...” the stranger ended feebly. Bucky observed him, the man was huge, easily 6’2” with shoulders large enough to fill the door frame, a dark canvas duffel bag hung outside the door. As the man shifted uncomfortably Bucky remembered that around others he had to be normal, he had to speak. He hadn’t been allowed to speak to men, especially gorgeous men that wore shirts a size too small, had messy blonde hair and smelled of something nostalgic. Bucky cleared his throat gruffly grunting “sure” as he resumed staring out the window, watching the man’s reflection. The man lifted the duffle with ease, sliding it into the over head compartment. Sitting he held out his hand “I’m Steve, Steve Rogers,” Bucky looked back at the dazzling smile perplexed on how someone could radiate so much light by just being; reluctantly he shook the man’s hand a shiver running up his spine at his first intimate human contact in two years, “Bucky” he said, releasing the warm hand he peered back out the window. 

 

***

Steve leaned back into the plush seat, trying not to spook the man more than he already had, he gently pulled his phone out and scrolled through the new texts. 

Sam: “WTF?! Maine bro, thought you wanted to stay on at SCU?”

Natasha: “You accepted the offer in Maine! Call me!”

Mom ICE: “Proud of you, enjoy this moment! ILY”

Responding was a little tricky, not ready to delve into it, not yet at least. 

Re-Sam: “Gotta get away Sam, you know that. Come visit when I get there.”

Re-Natasha: “Can’t, on a train. Call when I get there. Don’t worry so much. Tell Sam the same.”

Re-Mom ICE: “ILY2.”

 

"It has been a long year" Steve contemplated, following the man’s gaze out the window, the city scape scrolling by giving glimpses of the streets Steve had grown up with. All of these people living their lives looked so bred for it, bred for living on asphalt, gossip, and sweet coffee. Maine. Maine felt right, finally something felt right. "Not running away," he thought to himself, "just running to." Running to something, was it purpose? He didn't know. He would settle for running towards the unknown instead of standing stock still looking at his slightly shattered weirdly mundane life, he affirmed.

 

His gaze drifted over from the passing scene outside the window landing on the man staring out of it. “Gorgeous” was his first thought, the deep auburn hair sweeping at his shoulders, the shadowed gray blue eyes, and a jaw line that could cut glass. He looks so familiar and tired; his eyes had bags under them and held a sense of urgency that seemed connected to the knee that hadn’t stopped bouncing. Steve burned to ask, but thought better of it. 

 

Without a thought, Steve abruptly stood reaching for his sketch pad in his tote, the man flinched - hand grabbing onto his backpack. “Sorry, just getting something from my bag.” Steve said in an easy tone. The man nodded, peering at Steve. Grabbing the pad and pencil, he sat again crossing his legs to as a makeshift table, he did what he did best, got lost in the art. Frowning at the blank page he knew what he wanted to draw, the man across from him with the worried urgent eyes and the beautiful face. Angling his knee higher he leaned closer to his paper and began.

 

*** 

He tried hard not to stare, but God he was innately curious something _he_  couldn’t beat out of him. The man, Steve, was so large to be bent over such a delicate thing as a sketch pad, the pencil was dwarfed in his hands, and Bucky had the weird urge to run his finger along the line that had formed between his brows as he focused. Thankful for the distraction, Bucky watched for some time as the tendons in the man’s toned arms moved, saw the wide shoulders shift, and the thick thighs adjust the angle of the pad to accommodate. He glanced up at Bucky, eyes catching him staring. Smiling the man coughed then cleared his throat “I hope you don’t mind,” he announced, eyes boring into Bucky’s. Confused, Bucky frowned “Mind what?” “I’m an artist, well an art professor now, but I draw” pausing he turned the paper to Bucky, nervously holding it out. Bucky’s hand reached for it, awestruck by what he had done in such a short amount of time. “You drew me.” His eye brows drew together focused on his own face. “I hope you don’t mind.” Steve replied on a nervous tone, biting his bottom lip. Handing the paper back to him Bucky almost smiled, feeling a small portion of weight lifted off his chest; someone could see him, see the tired in his eyes, catch the nerves in his stature, finally someone was looking. “No... no I don’t mind.”


	2. Choices & Blushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of something wonderful. Steve is a professional at making people that don't know him blush.

Like a bowstring plucked on his heart, Bucky read the “Welcome to Arizona, The Grand Canyon state” sign as the train flew by, causing his breath to hitch in this throat. Leaning his head against the window he let a tendril of hope slip in, a small voice in his head whispered “3,000 miles to go”. The sun was painting the sky in deep reds and oranges, setting the compartment on fire. Glancing away from the window and at his temporary roommate he saw that Steve was still drawing. It had to have been at least 3 hours since their last conversation; sitting in a companionable silence. Bucky wondered if this is what it was supposed to be like to be around someone: comfortable, easy, and without ramifications for breathing in the same space.

A knock on the compartment door startled them both. a woman dressed in a crisp blue suit, stood with a notepad and menus. “Hello, My name is Alice, I’m this compartment’s servicer. We’re going to be serving dinner in about an hour, the menu was sent to your personal email prior to the ride. Did you have a chance to look over it?” She asked, a tinge of hope in her voice. Bucky tried his best to smile, praying he didn’t look like a deranged man crippled with social anxiety with the thought of having his first meal choice in two years.“Um, I’ll have the chicken caesar salad with a coffee, um black please.”

The waitress smiled writing down the order then turned to Steve, “I’ll have the exact same thing, but as much cream and sugar as you’re allowed to give me… please.” He ended, smiling sheepishly at the waitress, a faint flush had rose on her cheeks as she repeated the orders and left.

Surprising them both Bucky picked at his jeans and said “You didn’t look at the menu at all, did you?” The sheepish grin on Steve’s face widened “Er no. My bad,” He said a blush riding up chest. “You really should follow directions.” Bucky said, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice. “Yeah I’ve never been good at that.” Steve said rubbing the back of his neck. Bucky looked at him and tried his best for another smile. “I doubt that.” Steve gave a chuckle looking up through his eyelashes “Really? Why is that?” he asked. “You’re a professor, aren’t you all notorious for being rule followers?” Bucky asked, surprising himself at how bold this conversation had turned. He hadn’t spoken to a person other them _him_ conversationally in… well Bucky couldn’t remember how long. Steve cleared his throat “Hey I’ll have you know that I broke rules all time. They said not to mix oils with watercolors, and BOOM I did it.” Bucky laughed, the foreign sound surprising them both “Wow calm down there you bad boy.” If it was possible Steve’s smile widened even further, relishing in making the other man laugh. ‘Could a human radiate sunlight?’ Bucky thought briefly. “So what do you do? Break a lot of rules?” Steve asked, placing his sketchpad aside, and leaning forward with genuine interest.

Bucky glanced down at his jeans, picking at the hole again. “I am, was…um. I was a model…but I don’t anymore, I don’t model. I’m just…” “Finding something else to do?” Steven finished for him. Smiling gratefully he nodded at Steve. “Maybe that’s why I know your face….” Steve said almost to himself. Alarms went off in Bucky’s head, ‘why didn’t you think of something else to say, lie… it’s not that hard to lie, for God’s sakes you already gave him your name’ he thought anxiously. “No you probably haven’t.” Bucky added on quickly.” Sensing the urgency, Steve leaned back in his chair “You have a pretty unique face, I don’t forget faces. That good ol’ artist brain for ya.” Steve smiled, tapping on his temple. Bucky didn’t know how to reply, stunned at the compliment and terrified of being found.

Opening his mouth to reply, Alice opened the door with a large tray. Showing them how to slide out the personal trays located in the side compartments, she set the food on their trays; blushing when she practically poured the cream and sugar into Steve’s lap. Apologizing and blushing furiously, she left a pamphlet describing how the seats reclined into twin-sized beds and rushed out of the compartment in a flurry. “Wow.” Steve said grinning up at Bucky. “Yeah.” Bucky said still looking where she had exited. “Do you mean to cause that kind of reaction in people?” Bucky asked without thinking, ‘wow aren’t we just balls galore today.’ He thought to himself. “What reaction?” Steve asked as he doctored his coffee. “The um, babbling blushing effect.” Bucky said as he took his first bite of the salad, smiling at how good the freedom of choice tasted. “I don’t have that effect.” Steve said, frowning at Bucky in confusion, his sky blue eyes meeting Bucky’s. Bucky laughed and looked down at his food, feeling the blush on his cheeks “yeah… yeah you do,” he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A FLUFFY SLOW BURN! And it's secretly killing me. I want nothing more than to write the sexiest of scenes, but alas, this story has a mind of it's own and it'll be some pining for a bit. DON'T LEAVE ME NOW! I just got an AMAZING beta to save my life (and my comma splices). Everyone send virtual love to Raya91. Feel free to follow me on Tumblr, especially if you have any questions, comments, or ideas for future fics. (love-ha-ally) 
> 
> Chapter 3 will be up very soon!


	3. Desensitize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky catches a glimpse at Steve's body, Steve see's Bucky's body, mutual pining ensues.

Seeing the blush creep over Bucky’s cheeks, Steve had to bite his tongue to keep from commenting. Fingers itching to brush over his cheeks. He settles instead for shoving a giant forkful of salad into his mouth and marveling at how much Bucky’s demeanor has changed in just over 4 hours. The man who was wound up so tight he flinched at every move and looked like a caged animal, now stares cautiously out the window and has smiled a total of 10 times (not that Steve is counting…but he is). He’s aching to ask the million-dollar question ‘why do you flinch?’. Giving Bucky his best smile he comments “This salad isn’t half bad, I just might follow your lead on all of my future food choices.” The pleased look on Bucky’s face was worth it. “You just don’t want to have to look at the menu,” Bucky scoffs. “Maybe” Steve replied, shrugging and taking another massive bite. Bucky grins at him and eats another bite. 

The sun is fully set when Alice returns to retrieve their plates, and drop off their compartment’s pillows and blankets. Smiling at them she says “In the morning we’ll be stopping at a drop off point for two hours in the Apache National Forest at the border of Arizona and New Mexico. You are welcome to explore the area, but the train will be pulling out at nine on the dot, so if it’s not your final destination definitely make sure you’re back by then.” Steve takes the blankets, thanking her for letting them know. Handing Bucky his pillow, he gives him a half smile as he watches the man hug it to his chest, placing his chin on top of it. “Have you been through New Mexico?” Steve asks as he reaches for his tote grabbing his sleep shirt and shorts. “No, I’ve never even been out of California.” Bucky says as he glances up at Steve; mouth going dry when he see Steve pull his shirt over his head.

Although Steve’s shirts didn’t leave much to the imagination in the first place, seeing Steve’s tan naked torso in its entirety makes Bucky achingly aware of how long it’s been since he’s touched another man. His fingers twitch involuntarily to touch. Bucky wishes he knew what those bumps and hills would taste like under his tongue, he wishes he knew what Steve moaning while biting the pretty pink buds of his nipples would sound like. Snapping back and blushing bright red he glares out the window with the image of Steve Rogers’ naked torso ingrained in his mind. When was the last time he saw a naked man other than him? Why did he feel so guilty? “You really haven’t been out of California?” Steve continues, “Where are you heading to with this trip?” Steve asks curiously pulling the curtain dividing the compartment into two separate spaces half way shut to change pants. A mixture of relief and disappointment rush through Bucky, wondering how Steve’s thick thighs measured up. “Maine.” He states simply.

Steve swooshed the compartments curtain away so quickly that Bucky jumps. Hair mused from the shirt changing, wearing a pair of (Bucky inwardly groans) gray cloth gym shorts, his grin is wide. “Same here! Oh man, you have to tell me if you get tired of me before then, that’s gonna be like six days together.” Slightly taken back by Steve’s giddiness Bucky blurts “I don’t think anyone could get tired of you.” Blushing fervently he focuses on opening his own bag as a distraction looking for his own sleepwear. Steve smiles at him “You say that now, just wait until I make you play yahtzee and I kick your ass at it.” Sitting with a plop he smiles at Bucky, resuming his drawing. Bucky hesitantly pulls out his shirt and stands, making a point to face Steve - self conscious of the scars that ride his upper shoulder blade and on his back. Belts are brutal things. As Bucky pulls the shirt over his head, Steve’s will power evaporates. He glances up and clenches his jaw to keep from gasping. He memorizes the body as he’s memorized the face. Looking back down at the page he itches to draw the broad shoulders, the delicate sweep of tattoos across the ribs, the hip bones that make him ache to taste. This was going to be a long 6 days indeed.

Sighing Steve adds the finishing touches to the sketch and signs his name at the bottom, as Bucky moves the curtain back after changing into a pair of basketball shorts and pulling his hair into a messy bun. He smiles as he sits down “I’ve actually never played yahtzee, soooo I’m gonna go ahead and say my ass is already kicked.” Steve’s eyebrows shoot up “YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED YAHTZEE!?” He yells.Their neighbors thump on the wall that separates their cart. “I mean,” he continues with a dramatic whisper, rolling his eyes “you’ve never played yahtzee?” Bucky shakes his head smiling, “Nope” he says popping the final /p/. “Jesus Christ what am I going to do with you.” Steve says shaking his head in mock exasperation.. If they had met 3 years ago Bucky would have replied with something playful and sexy. Bucky just shrugs, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“Oh hey, I finished.” Suddenly remembering the sketch, Steve holds the paper out to Bucky, their fingers lightly brush as he takes it, a small zing going up his arm making his heart stutter. “Wow, this…. Wow.” Bucky stutters. Steve managed to capture Bucky in the setting sun, eyes weary behind the baseball cap. His posture shows an animal aching to be free as he stares at the window. Bucky didn’t realize he was staring at the page for so long until Steve leans forward, lightly touching his knee. Bucky hated himself for flinching “Sorry, I just… you can keep it. It’s yours.” Steve says quickly, moving his hand off his knee the warmth lingering. Bucky looked at the drawing and up at Steve again in disbelief “No, no way, you worked so hard on this, you can’t just give it me, I can pay you.” Bucky says reaching into his bag. Steve shakes his head “You can try, but I’ll just give it back to you while you’re sleeping. Really Bucky, this is something I love to do, and you well…. You make it really easy with all of your pondering and sulking.”  
Bucky’s eyes flash up to Steve’s “Uh I don’t sulk.” Laughing and eyeing Bucky he replies “Really you don’t? What’s that look on your face right now, then?” He says grabbing Bucky’s chin and turning it to stare at his reflection in the window. Bucky flinches again. “Shit sorry, I keep forgetting” Steve blurts, tucking his hands under his legs. Face burning, Bucky looks at Steve, who is sitting like a child whose been scolded “Forgetting what?”. Steve swallows “Um, well I noticed you don’t like when people move quickly, or loud noises, or being touched unexpectedly, you tend to jump. I’m really the worst person to be stuck in a 10x5 cart with, I’m the epitome of hyper and all over the place.” 

Bucky looks into Steve’s eyes sincerely for the first time in their 6 hours together “I, I’m not used to being touched,” he admits, “but I really wouldn’t mind getting used to it.” He bites his lip looking away. Feeling his heart leap, Steve goes with his gut and reaches out grabbing his chin again, feeling the flinch but bringing his eyes to meet the other man’s with an intense serious gaze, noticing how Bucky’s eyes flick down to his lips briefly. “Well then” Steve says in his deepest voice “you better get ready to get your ass kicked at yahtzee.” Bucky bursts out laughing at the comment, and Steve drops his hand and grins. This was going to be a long and interesting 6 days indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Le Sigh* I just can't with these too. Kudos, comments, and (constructive) criticisms make my day! I promise hot sexy time and fluff to come. Be patient with me.


	4. Blue Not Brown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yahtzee, noise complaints, and nightmares.

The fact that Steve carried yahtzee around when he traveled truly baffles Bucky. Why the fuck would anyone carry a game to just play with a random stranger?!. ‘Obviously he’s a lunatic’ Bucky thinks as he looks at his first roll ‘should go with the three of a kind with fives. But a hot lunatic’ he adds on absentmindedly. Steve is intensely focused on the game, his competitiveness shining through. As Bucky roles 2 more of his dice, Steve let’s out a dramatic gasp “OH SHIT” Steve shouts, causing Bucky to lurch back, and for their neighbors to pound on the wall again. “What what what?” Bucky asks, staring at Steve in bewilderment. “You got a yahtzee!” Steve explains pointing at the five fives. Bucky’s eyes widen “OHHHHH so THAT’S why it’s called Yahtzee!” Steve face palms himself and sinks into the chair “You’re a piece of work. I think you’re playing me. You just wanted me to THINK you didn’t know how to play.” Bucky blushes with pride “Nope, just beginners luck. You’ll do great your next roll, just wait.” Steve shakes his head in disbelief “Dammit you’re not even competitive. I’m so screwed.” Frowning, Bucky let’s the comment pass without commenting on his confusion.

They play for hours, the time passing in a blur without notice. Steve plays music on his phone and finds himself entranced by how Bucky sings under his breath while figuring out what his next move will be in the game. They make brief eye contact and Bucky smiles shyly, biting his bottom lip as he rolls one last dice. “Mother fucking yahtzee!” He screams as he roles the the fifth four. Steve stares and lunges at Bucky across the small tray, “You are freakin’ kidding me,” Bucky laughs and squirms as Steve pokes him in the ribs “you’re hiding some loaded ass dice somewhere” Bucky squeals, both breaking apart suddenly when there’s a sharp wrap on their door and Alice slides it open looking sternly. Frowning and eyeing the two she scolds, “Gentlemen, there have been several noise complaints about this compartment, please be more courteous. It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and some people are trying to sleep.” She snaps and closes the door with a sharp ‘click’. Bucky is bright red, and Steve smiles sheepishly at him. “Maybe we should go to sleep?” Steve asks. “Probably,” Bucky shrugs and begins to move their things in order to lean the seats back into beds.

The train sways gently as Bucky lays on the makeshift bed, tucking his long legs under the blanket. Steve lays facing him in his own bed, smiling at him as he reaches up and clicks the compartment light off. Sighing, the weight of the day falls off of Bucky, feeling truly relaxed for the first time in years. He realized his cheeks hurt from smiling, a rarity for his jaw. Smiling to himself, sleep comes swiftly.

Steve tries not stare at the man sleeping across from him. He really does. But the smile that stays on his face when he drifts off is beautiful, and God he itches to draw him. He could fill a whole sketchbook with pictures of him and it wouldn’t be enough. Steve closes his eyes and imagines what it was like briefly to have Bucky under him squirming and laughing, joy and bewilderment clearly etched into his face. Putting that moment in the forefront of his brain, he falls asleep thinking about that smile.

***

Jolted awake by a sharp scream, Steve’s eyes fly open. Bucky’s face is scrunched into such a painful expression Steve quickly moves out of his bed to kneel beside him. “No no no no” Bucky mumbles hands covering his face as the belt hits his back again, higher this time too close to his face. “I won’t do it again, I promise it was an accident, just an accident” he repeats as the blows come sharper. Knowing the skin is broken, Bucky sobs. Steve is in full blown panic mode, hearing the mumbles and sobs his hands shake as he gently touches Bucky’s face whispering lowly to him “Hey, hey it’s Steve, you gotta wake up. It’s a dream Bucky, just a dream.” He murmurs wanting nothing more than to shake him awake to make the sobbing stop. He continues with the gentle strokes and murmuring instead. Bucky wakes up like a drowning man, gasping for air and hands flailing out to strike, eyes locking on the sharp blue ones that are so close to his face. ‘Not brown’ he thinks ‘Blue, not brown, blue. Not _his_ ’. Steve catches Bucky’s hand and presses it to his own pounding heart. Watching as Bucky’s eyes search his, he says softly “Hey doll it’s Steve. You’re on the train to Maine remember? You’re safe. You’re okay. I’m right here. You gotta breath.” Bucky lets out a breath. His chest laboring against the panic. “Steve?” he mumbles confused, eyes focusing on the blonde. “Oh shit.” Realization and consciousness hits Bucky like a brick. “You had a nightmare, you’re okay. Just keep breathing.” Bucky feels that his cheeks are streaked with tears, cheeks flaming he removes his hand from Steve's chest to hastily wipe them away. Legs going numb Steve plops down and leans his back against Bucky’s bed as Bucky moves to sit up. “You scared the shit out of me” Steve says as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He feels Bucky moving on the bed. “I’m so sorry Steve, I….I…. it’s just.. fuck.. sorry” he can’t bring himself to explain. “Don’t.” Steve says sharply, feeling the man flinch on the bed. “Sorry, just don’t apologize when this is obviously something you’re struggling with. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but you sure as hell aren’t going to apologize.” Turning and looking at Bucky up on the bed Steve’s eye are practically pleading with him, face strained. “I’m going to do something, and you’re going to tell me to stop if you don’t want me to do it. You have my word that I will stop and I won’t hurt you.” Steve says forcing calm into his voice. Crawling his large frame onto Bucky’s bed, Bucky’s eye grow wide as he feels Steve’s arm come across him as he pulls Bucky on to his lap leaning his broad back against the wall. Bucky’s eyes sting as he feels both of Steve’s large arms wrap around him, realize he’s doing something Bucky hasn’t experienced in years; holding him. Confused and overwhelmed he tucks his head into Steve’s chin. “Okay?” Steve asks, chest rumbling. “Okay.” Bucky answers letting out a breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M DYING OVER THESE TWO Y'ALL!!!! I CAN'T EVEN! *sigh* 
> 
> As also, Kudos, Comments, and (constructive) Criticism make my day
> 
> SERIOUSLY FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR! :) 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/love-ha-ally


	5. Surrealism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are divulged, walks in the forest happen, intense tension eventually breaks.

Warmth and a low rhythm against his cheek are all that Bucky felt as he slowly slipped back into consciousness. The rhythm, a steady “thump, thump thump” reminded him of where was and what had happened. Leaving his eyes closed for a few more seconds, not wanting to face what this day would bring. He stayed in Steve’s arms, relishing in the warmth. Thoughts ran rampant, ‘You have to tell him, you have to explain, the man witnessed you crying because you can’t handle running, you have to tell him. What if he runs? What if...what if… what if…” His throat clinched as the panic rose. He opened his eyes to see a slow blush of a pink and orange sunrise peering over the horizon. Steve looked down, watching as Bucky stared out the window. “Hey” He said evenly, like having a grown man asleep in your arms on train was a completely normal occurrence. Bucky sighed closing his eyes, moving out of Steve’s lap he looked up at him. “Hey, Steve listen.” Steve smiled, knowing what was coming “you don’t have to explain.” Bucky gave him a sad half smile that didn’t reach his eyes “But I do, I...” Interrupted by the train coming to a stop and the announcement “Attention all boardies, we have reached our first stopping point. Welcome to the Apache National Forest. The train will be docked for 2 hours. All those wishing to continue to a further destination please be sure to be back by nine o’clock.” Steve eye’d Bucky, who looked like he had lost all of his courage. “C’mon let’s go for a walk.” Reaching out his hand, Bucky took it letting Steve pull him up.  

The drop off point was a barrage of people, crowding to get to their trains, cars, and ubers. Steve pointed to a trail that was off the beaten path from the drop point, flanked by tall pine trees, making note of the name as they headed down it. They walked in silence for a few minutes; Bucky contemplating what he was going to say next. Steve interrupted his thoughts “My Mom, she’s the nicest person you’ll ever meet. She’s a nurse in Augusta. She met my Dad when she was twenty-two and fresh out of college. She fell hard and fell fast; he was handsome, older and had a lot of money. She learned that with money came power.” Steve took a breath glancing to his right at Bucky who continued walking. “It didn’t start with being hit, it started more emotionally. Why wasn’t she thinner, why didn’t she socialize more, why couldn’t she do anything right. Then it moved into the beatings. Open palmed never fisted. She had me and that gave her nine months of freedom. After she had me though everything increased ten fold. One day, she decided that enough was enough. She took me when I turned three and ran. She filed charges. Never looked back.” He stopped turning to look at Bucky’s stunned face. “You don’t have to tell me because I know that look. That was the look my mother had everytime she took me to see my father in prison. I knew that look every time that my mother took me to the prison to see my father. You’re running. Scared to be caught. I get it.” He looked at Bucky with the softest expression, not pity, just care. “If you want my help you have it. If you just want a friend to ride the train with and never speak to again, while that might hurt, you have it. If you don’t know what you need or want right now, I’m here to talk it out. I’m not just a yahtzee playing art professor.” He ended, hoping to lighten the mood. 

Bucky let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Closing his eyes he started “We met when I was twenty five. He’s a senator. Deep in the closet. He was charming and sweet at first. Didn’t treat me like another pretty face. He came to one of my shows I did for Hugo Boss, and this is so cheesy, but he swept me off me feet. Told me I was beautiful. Before I knew it, he had a separate house for me because Lord forbid his wife found out about me.” Bucky stopped gulping at the air. “He um, cut me off from my friends first,I realize that now.” He continued, kicking at a pebble “Telling me he didn’t like them and that I deserved better friends, more expensive friends. Then he called me fat, which was weird because he was the one feeding me. Said I didn’t deserve this life. Then he started to hit me. Fist, palm, then belt; he liked them all. He hit because I would look too long at a magazine page with a man on it, when I breathed  too loudly, pretty much because I existed. It lasted for two years. He would give me money to buy new clothes, and for the last 4 months I hid the money under a loose floorboard in one of the rooms. Yesterday morning he threatened to kill me if I ever loved someone more than him. Yesterday afternoon, I took off and ran.” Bucky finished not realizing tears were falling as he spoke. “Fuck Steve. I thought I truly loved him. That that’s just how love is. What the fuck is wrong with me?” He sighed, giving a Steve a look of complete misery. Steve followed his instincts, wrapping his arms around Bucky for the second time in 24 hours. The sob that escaped Bucky as he clenched the back of Steve’s shirt in his fist, broke his heart. “Nothing.” He said gently. “Absolutely nothing is wrong with you.” They stayed like that for a few minutes, and when Bucky’s tears slowed and the forest settled around them, he pulled away from Steve’s arms and looked up “I’m sorry I’ve cried on you twice now.” He said giving him a small smile. Steve brought his palm up to his face, looking down he sighed “It was worth it.” Bucky couldn’t help but glance down at Steve’s lips, ‘Jesus Christ he just bared his soul to this poor man and now, fuck.’ willing his inner monologue to shut up, he said “Um we should probably get back, unless we want to be stuck in the Apache National Forest for the foreseeable future.” Understanding Steve dropped his hand and turned around “You just want to kick my ass again at Yahtzee” jokingly nudging Bucky with his elbow, smiling Bucky nudged him back “Maybe.” 

***

The next two days passed quickly for Bucky  in a blur of laughter and conversation. Together they played countless games of yahtzee, explored the train, and watched movies on Steve’s laptop. Discussion ranged from favorite colors, to the one place in the world they would go if money wasn’t a factor (Steve picked Italy, Bucky picked Spain). Bucky became used to Steve’s hand landing on his leg when he was talking, relishing in the small touches. It was on the third day after eating dinner that Steve finally convinces Bucky to let him sketch him again. “Pleaassseee” Steve groaned sticking out his lip, “If I don’t practice I’ll get rusty, then I’ll fail at my job,  become a hobo and have to live under a bridge.” Bucky scoffed quirking an eyebrow “Melodramatic much?” “NO….well...maybe a bit.” Steve smiled, blushing. “The truth is, your face just makes me itch.” Bucky’s eyebrow rose higher “No that’s not what I meant. You’re just, well you know, you’re beautiful.” Steve fumbled for words “And, um… God I am ruining this moment.” He said rubbing his face with his hands and sighing. Bucky laughed batting his eyes “Do you get all your models to sit for you by calling them beautiful and then turning bright red?” Steve smiled, the blush spreading down his neck “Maybe… it’s all in the technique.” Rolling his eyes Bucky sighed “Fine, paint me like one of your french girls Picasso.”  “Um well Picasso’s technique was more surrealism and I’m more” Steve babbled looking up at Bucky’s exasperated face “Right. Besides the point.” 

  
Bucky sat as Steve asked him to: leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees, chin resting on his folded hands staring straight forward. Their eyes meet briefly before Steve starts. Bucky half smiles, licking his bottom lip and catching it between his teeth as he bores his eyes into Steve's. The ache grows in Steve belly before his pencil meets paper. Sketching his impossibly sensuous eyes, they pierce through Steve on the paper and in front of him. Bucky’s hands clenched tightly when Steve’s eyes come back to his. Despite how much he despises feeling this vulnerable, he forces himself to stare back; terrified of what Steve sees in him. Bucky doesn’t realize his stare has turned into a frown until Steve leans forward, brushing his thumb between his eyebrows saying “relax Buck” in a breathy tone. ‘Impossible’ is the only thought he has as the warmth lingers from Steve’s touch. A dull itch grows to break the pose, to grab Steve by his impossibly broad shoulders and slam him against the compartment wall. Bucky closes his eyes while taking a deep breath and letting it out. When he opens them he’s met by Steve’s piercing stare. Almost as if Steve has read his mind, and he has the involuntary urge to moan due to how much it turns him on now to see Steve shift in his seat and bite his lip. As the scenery outside passes, and the sun begins to set, Steve lets out a huff of breath. “You can stretch out if you want, I have everything except for the little details.” He says, voice rough from not speaking for the past hour. Bucky stands, arms stretching over his head with a groan, shirt riding up exposing the little line of skin right above his boxers. Steve aches to brush his fingers along that line. Bucky sits back grinning, “So let me see!” he holds his hand out. “Nope” Steve says pulling the drawing closer to his body, “can’t until it’s done.” Bucky huffs dramatically “As I just sat in the same position for the last 3 hours, I feel like I should get to see the process.” “Patience young one.” Steve says chidingly while staring at the page “I’m literally 1 year younger than you.” Bucky laughs putting his headphones in and leaning back against the wall resigned to Steve’s stubbornness. 

Another hour passes before Steve tugs one of the earbuds out of Bucky’s ears. Before he’s able to comment Steve shoves the notepad into Bucky’s hand and blushes furiously staring out the window. Bucky memorizes the drawing, mouth gaping as he sees himself through Steve’s eyes. The dead on glare is sexy to say the least, but it’s the posture and the mood Steve has captured that baffles Bucky. ‘How could a picture practically ooze tension?’ Bucky thinks. He looks up at Steve to see him blatantly staring out the window, a blush riding up his neck at the thought of Bucky viewing the drawing. Swallowing and licking his bottom lip he stands. The movement catching Steve off guard. He looks at him concerned at first, then shocked when Bucky puts both of his hands on those impossibly broad shoulders, pushing him back against the seat. Bucky leans down slowly, a question in his eyes as his legs straddle Steve’s hips on the seat. Steve’s hand runs up Bucky’s spine, as his other comes to rest hesitantly on his hip, brushing the skin under his shirt. Answering Bucky’s unspoken question, he cups the back of his neck and guides Bucky’s mouth down to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SQUEEEEEE
> 
>  
> 
> I'm going to leave it at that.   
> Comments, Kudos, and (constructive) criticisms are always welcome. :)


	6. Gasping For Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The loveliest of love scenes.

Steve’s mouth trails over Bucky’s lightly. First, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss, pausing to relish in the taste of eachother, then moving back to kiss the full lower lip capturing it briefly between his. Smiling at the shuddering breath Bucky takes; Steve looks up at him through impossibly long eyelashes as he pulls away from the kiss, running the tip of his nose along the bridge of Bucky’s in a move that makes Bucky’s heart stutter. “How ya doin’ Buck?” Steve asks, his tone sensuous and deep as his eyes search the other man’s face. Meeting Steve’s look Bucky smiles “Truthfully,” he gasps as Steve’s hand slips below the hem of his shirt, “I feel a little drunk.” Steve smiles taking one of Bucky’s hands in his  and bringing it up to his lips. “Oh really, and why is that?” He asks as he presses his lips to the palm of his hand, slowly kissing each consecutive finger while staring into Bucky’s eyes. “I’m… Jesus Christ .. I’m, not…Fuck Steve, I guess I’m not used to, to this.” Bucky admits, heart pounding in his throat as Steve slowly kisses up Bucky wrist nipping and tasting the tender skin. “You should be.” Steve whispers, lips trailing over the delicate skin of his forearm. Bucky’s eyes flutter shut. “You should always be treated like this.” He pauses, waiting for Bucky’s eyes to open again before saying with a devilish grin “I’m not saying I don’t want to fuck you” he watches Bucky’s eye go wide. “You heard me, I would love to fuck you so hard” he continues kissing over Bucky’s shirt along his bicep to his shoulder. “But that can happen another time. Let me show you what it’s like; what you truly deserve, what I’ve wanted to do since the  first time I met you.” He says as he kisses softly along Bucky’s neck, tasting what could only be described as pure sunlight. Bucky realizes that this is Steve’s way of asking for permission. Heart pounding, and taking Steve’s face in his hands he stares into those impossibly blue eyes and whispers “Show me.” 

Steve’s arm snakes around Bucky’s waist unexpectedly as he stands up, gripping tightly. Bucky laughs, legs wrapping around Steve’s hips as he watches Steve one handedly move the seat back into the bed, and shut the compartment window curtains. Fingers running through Steve’s hair, he tugs Steve’s face back up to his in a searing kiss. Relishing in the way Steve’s grasp tightens around his hips as he moans, and opens his mouth to Bucky’s tongue. He lays Bucky on the bed hovering, hands planted on either side of Bucky’s head not wanting to break their kiss, not yet. Giving Buck’s bottom lip a final nip he trails his  lips down his neck, sucking at the exposed collar bone. He reaches down to find the hem of Bucky’s shirt, bringing it over his head. Bucky’s chest is heaving like he’s run a marathon, a beautiful flush spreads over his neck and down his chest, nipples hardening in the cool compartment air. “This is beautiful” Steve says, fingers dancing along the intricate tattoo on Bucky’s ribs, looking into his eyes he continues “You are absolutely beautiful” before grazing his fingernails down Bucky’s side in a sensation that has Bucky’s hips rocking against nothing, desperate for friction. Steve smiles, easing his mouth onto one of his well defined pecs, he nips at the bud of his nipple, lavishing with his tongue and blowing on it over and over again. Bucky’s whine is deep in his throat, as his eyes close and one hand tightens into Steve’s shirt the other reaches wildly for purchase along the compartments wall. 

“So needy baby” Steve whispers as he kisses down Bucky’s body, nipping along the lines of his abs, and sucking on the soft skin above his boxers. Undoing his pants, he slides them off slowly, leaving Bucky in black boxer briefs, the line of his erection throbbing with need. Steve stares down at Bucky, flushed and hard. Taking off his own shirt and pants, Bucky groans at the sight of Steve standing in blue boxer briefs. “Please.” He pleads simply, staring at Steve, eyes half lidded. Steve smiles climbing back on to the bed, gently lowering his body on to Bucky’s. The warmth that spreads at the contact has them both moaning, lips finding each others as their hips grind together, their hard cocks finding purchase against each other. “Want you” Bucky moans into Steve’s mouth, biting on his lip, hands trailing up the broad expanse of Steve’s back. Steve smiles looking into Bucky’s eyes “You have me baby, for as long as you want me you have me” he says sincerely, fingers hooking into Bucky’s boxers, easing them down his long legs. Bucky has about 10 seconds of air hitting his hard cock, before the warmth of Steve’s mouth envelopes it. “Fuck!” he moans, hips shooting off the bed. Steve moans in the back of his throat sending vibrations around Bucky’s dick. “Steve, I won’t...fuck...gotta, babe I won't last…” he pleads as Steve sucks harder, hand gripping the base. Steve releases Bucky’s cock from his mouth saying “I want you to cum for me Bucky. I can’t wait to taste you baby, please cum for me.” Bucky’s balls draw tighter as Steve says it, his orgasm building quickly when Steve’s mouth continues to work him. Steve moans in the back of his throat one final time, making Bucky gasp “fuck Steve” as he releases into Steve’s mouth. Steve relishes in the taste that is purely Bucky. He sucks Bucky through his orgasm, loving the helpless sounds of his release. Lapping at the head of Bucky’s cock a few more times, Steve releases him. He gets a  drink of water as Bucky comes down. Laying back beside him, Steve pulls the blanket over them both. Bucky sighs looking at the blanket, frowning. “Wait, but you?” he says in a post orgasm haze. “It’s not about me right now. Go to sleep Bucky. I’m right here.” He says pulling him tight into his side on the little full size bed. Bucky sighs as relaxation and contentment wash over him. Steve kisses Bucky’s temple, nuzzling his nose into his neck. “Night Buck” he says sleepily, Bucky smiles already drifting off “Night Steve.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww yesssssss 1,062 words of sexxxxxxxx. 
> 
> These are truly my favorite scenes to write. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! 
> 
> Seriously y'all, comments make my DAY. I check constantly for them, they boost me into writing mode. Keep 'em coming, y'all are the best! :) Thanks for following along thus far. More sex, conflict, and maybe some resolve is still to come. Who knows how many chapters this thing will be :D


	7. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sweet beginning, a great middle, a conflicting end.

Euphoria erupts through Steve upon awakening. Sucking in a gasp as he looks down to see Bucky’s bowed smile as he licks up Steve hard cock. “Morning Stevie” Bucky grins wickedly before taking Steve’s thick cock in is mouth sucking all the way down to the base. Steve growls in the back of throat “Shit shit shit” he says squeezing his eyes shut, one of his hands flying into Bucky’s hair. He tugs lightly drawing Bucky’s eyes to his, as he engulfs his cock more. “Come here baby” Steve says in a rough demanding tone, Bucky eagerly pop’s off of Steve’s member, lips swollen and smiling. “You’re sneaky” Steve comments, capturing Bucky’s mouth with his own. Bucky nips as his bottom lip sharply “You have no idea” he says slyly as he straddles Steve’s hips, lining up Steve’s cock with his hole. Steve’s eyes widen “No no no, babe you’re not prepped, absolutely not, don’t want to hurt…” he’s cut off as Bucky laughs shyly looking down at Steve as he sinks down onto his cock, watching as pleasure, confusion and realization flit across his face. “You prepped yourself?! Fuckin fuck” Steve groans as Bucky nods slyly, biting his bottom lip as Steve’s hands fly to his hips. Steve’s biceps tighten as he slowly lifts Bucky up and lowers him down, watching has Bucky’s head falls back, pleasure running up his spine. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous” Steve exclaims, as a moan erupts through Bucky’s lips. “Shhhhh baby people are sleeping” Steve says, cupping the back of Bucky’s neck, bringing Bucky’s lips to his, capturing the next moan in his mouth. Pushing his feet into the bed as Bucky lays against him, Steve snaps his hips hard, setting a rapid pace as he fucks in and out of Bucky. Bucky’s cock, trapped between his and Steve’s stomach, throbs as Steve hammers into his hole. Bucky gasps. “Fuck Stevie, gonna cum, fuck fuck fuck fuck.” He repeats as Steve’s pace quickens. “Cum for me Bucky” He says, slamming even harder, feeling his own release. Bucky moans so loud it vibrates through Steve, as they both cum at the simultaneously.

“Fuck” Steve says, letting out a sigh as he slowly comes out of his post-orgasm-coma. He can feel Bucky’s heart hammering against his ribcage, sprawled across Steve’s body. “Can’t move. Must stay here forever.” Steve laughs kissing the side of Bucky’s head that’s resting on his shoulder “Whilst I wouldn’t be opposed, I think Alice might not appreciate that when she asks us about breakfast in about fifteen minutes.” “Shit.” Bucky huffs. Fumbling, they both get dressed and sneak through train, hands laced, to the makeshift showers that are on board, to wash off (and out) the sticky mess. They make it back to the compartment just as Alice is coming down the hall, smiling as they place their orders, Bucky scoffs as Steve continues his “I’ll have what he’s having” streak. 

Smiling over their omelettes Steve stares at Bucky fondly, “You know, I’m gonna have to draw you more now that I know your reaction.” he winks. Despite the blush he is battling Bucky rolls his eyes “I guess. Maybe you shouldn’t sit there all sweet and soft in your tight shirts.” “Hey! My shirts aren’t that tight.” Steve counters, making Bucky scoff “Right, that’s why your nipples could cut glass through them right now.” Steve dramatically covers his pecs “Excuse me sir, my eyes are up here!” Laughing like loons they almost miss the announcement about arriving in Maine  
in 10 hours with one last stop in New York. Bucky’s eyes light up “I’ve always wanted to see New York! Do you think we would have time to get off and wonder for a bit?!” Steve, smiles “Yeah Buck of course,” knowing that especially now, Steve would give Bucky the moon if he asked for it. 

When they arrive in New York Bucky practically runs off the train, up the stairs of the rail station and onto the busiest street he’s ever been on in his life. He sighs in relief as the crowd passes by him, no one looking at him, no one caring about the man in black skinny jeans, black boots, a white v-neck and a man bun. Fuck it felt good to be free. Steve takes out his phone, knowing this moment was one Bucky needed to remember. Capturing the picture of the man staring at the impossible high buildings, beaming. 

Steve isn’t ready when Bucky turns his head, the smile still in place and looks at Steve over his shoulder. His heart stutters and leaps simultaneously. So different from the first smile. “Fuck”. It is in this moment that he knows he is absolutely, madly, desperately in love with a man he’s only known for six days and he would do anything for him. 

“Come on Steve!” Bucky says holding out his hand “If we hurry we can at least go get a hot dog and walk through Central Park!” He grins lacing their fingers, “Alright Buck. Let’s go.”

****

Bucky has on the biggest grin as he sits back in his seat. He’s wearing his newly acquired “I Heart NY” T-shirt and is chomping on his fourth hot dog. “Ten hours until our final stop, Maine.” The conductor announces. The train sways as it picks up speed, Bucky finishing his hot dog reaches absentmindedly at his forgotten phone on the seat. “So I think once we get to Maine we HAVE to get you a Lobster po boy, literally it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever put in your mouth. It’s like a mixture of hap…. Buck?” Steve stops. Bucky’s gone sheet white, fingers white knuckling his bag. “I have to get off the train.” He says, voice thin and anxious. Standing he makes for the door, Steve stands before he can get there. “Bucky the train’s already going. Tell me what’s going on.” Bucky’s eyes are wild with panic as he shoves his phone into Steve’s hand. Steve reads the single text message from S. Reeves reads “Maine? Really? You are in so much trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez. I’m sorry! True story: I’m supposed to be on a mini-vacation and I swore I wasn’t going to write this chapter until I got back home to my computer. But here we are, typed on my phone.-.- 
> 
> Comments and Kudos make everything better. :D


	8. Scared & Astonished

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intense emotions, escapes, meetings and followings.

Chapter 8

Steve’s hands are clenched as he stares out the window. He can’t take in the beautiful Maine scenery that usually makes him feel like he’s finally home, he can’t think about how he’s going to see his Mom soon, he can barely breathe at this point. Rage, rage pools in his gut. He looks at Bucky, long legs tucked into his chest and forehead resting on his knees. Steve knows the stance of a scared animal, he remembers the position he took when he would hide behind the couch. They had sat in silence for the past 6 hours. Steve thinking of one hundred different possibilities, Bucky only thinking of one. “One hour until we’re at our final destination folks, please be sure to gather your belongings. Thank you for riding USA rail” The announcement jolts Bucky. “Fuck fuck fuck” is on repeat in his brain, his hands tighten around his legs, wishing he could crawl into himself. Steve can’t take it, he can’t do nothing, standing abruptly Bucky’s head flies up. “Steve?” Noticing the panic he sits next to Bucky, slowly wrapping his arms around him and tucking the man’s head under his chin like he did when he had the nightmare. Sitting like that for a few minutes Steve finally says “I’ll be right back okay, everything’s gonna to be fine. I’m gonna make a few calls” Tilting Bucky’s face so their eyes meet he says it again “I’ll be right back” kissing him on the nose, he slides the door open and leaves. 

Bucky’s legs are bouncing as the train pulls into the station. “Steve left his stuff, he was going to come back. He has to come back.” As he thinks it the door opens, a breath of relief fills the silence, “I thought you left. You can’t just do that, I thought you left” Bucky says, in a strained voice. The train slows to a stop and they both look outside at the crowd milling about. Bucky’s breath hitches as the corridor begins to fill with people. “I’m not leaving. Take the hat off Buck.” Steve says, grabbing the hat. “No!” Panic rises in his throat at the thought, “He’ll see me! I can’t Steve. You don’t understand I can’t go back, I won't go back!” He says fiercely, grabbing for the hat. Steve grabs his chin instead “Look at me!” Steve says, penetrating his anxious thoughts, his eyes fly to Steve’s. “I’m not asking you to go back.” Gently he brushes Bucky’s hair behind his ears, kissing him lightly on the lips nudging their noses together “ I’m asking you to trust me. You will walk off this train with me. I will not let him hurt you. I promise, but you have to trust me Buck.” Bucky’s eyes threaten to fill “I can’t let you do that. This isn’t your fight.” Steve sighs, smiling fondly at Bucky “It is my fight. You made it my fight the moment you made me fall in love with you.” “No Steve this isn’t someth….” Bucky gulps. “Well that shut you up.” Steve grins, pecking his forehead “We can get more into that later. C’mon, we have a reservation for dinner with a pretty important person.” Taking Bucky’s hand and grabbing his own bag, they walk off the train. 

The crowd is dense with chatter and reunion hugs. Keeping his head down Bucky walks hurriedly behind Steve, hand gripping the other man’s like a vice. “Breath Buck, almost to the exit.” Steve murmurs, giving the hand a reassuring squeeze. Bucky feels something cold along his neck, a trickle of something, something he just can’t put his mind to, jerking he looks behind him. More people mill about, but God he can’t shake the feeling. Maybe he’s paranoid. Maybe it was just a text. Maybe… Bucky sighs as they finally reach their waiting Uber that Steve had scheduled. As the seatbelts click and the doors lock, Steve gives the name of the restaurant and Bucky leans his head back against the headrest of his seat, exhaling loudly. Neither of them notice the black sedan that pulls out behind them.

****  
The important reservation is for a picnic table at a food truck that serves, as Steve claims, the best lobster po boy Bucky will ever put in his mouth. Bucky can’t help but think this is the cutest restaurant he’s ever seen, with the red and white checkerboard umbrellas, seagulls milling about and people laughing and eating at the wind whips around them. As he gets out of the car the Maine air fills his lungs, salty with a cool North Eastern bite. Steve thanks the driver, climbing out behind Bucky and wrapping his arms around his waist, taking in the flinch. “Sorry” Bucky mumbles as he leans back into Steve’s warmth “You’re allowed to be on edge right now, but I think I know what will help.” He gives Bucky one last squeeze before taking his hand and guiding him to a table where a tall woman with bright blonde hair and green eyes sits reading a book. “Mom!” Steve smiles as the woman looks up and squeals, “Ohhhhh God you’re home” She says standing and wrapping her arms around him resting her head on his shoulder “Missed you.” Releasing him she turn to Bucky “Hi! I’m Sarah, and you must be Bucky, Steve has told me so much about you!” without hesitation she envelopes Bucky in a hug, noticing his flinch and squeezing him even tighter. Pulling back she cups his face in her hands in a such a motherly gesture Bucky’s heart leaps “You sir are too skinny, let’s get you a po boy, I swear it’ll be the best thing you ever put in your mouth...well maybe.” She smirks and winks at him before walking off to the food truck. 

“YOUR MOM KNOWS I SUCKED YOUR DICK?!” Bucky whisper shouts at Steve harshly, eyes wide with panic. Steve’s grin is wide as he scrunches his nose nodding, “You know, she probably knows I sucked yours too.” he says sarcastically. Punching his shoulder Bucky laughs “She’s gorgeous. I mean, y’all are basically twins, so that’s self explanatory I guess.” Steve laughs taking Bucky’s hand “Stop sucking up. I already love you. No need to keep trying to win me over.” Bucky’s stunned into silence “You’ll get used to hearing it, I promise.” He smiles kissing Bucky lightly on the nose as Sarah walks back over holding three po-boys and a giant basket of french fries. Beaming she watches the two of them. “Alright so tell me everything. Whose ass do I need to kick? Do y’all need a place to stay? What’s our next move?” She says setting down the tray and picking up her own sandwich. 

Bucky hesitates, biting his lip. “You both shouldn’t be getting in the middle of this. I have enough money saved to get an apartment and a few months rent until I find a job. I’ll just stay off the grid.” Rolling her eyes Sarah shoves the po boy at Bucky. “Shut up and eat. Steve what do you want to do hun?” Steve smiles looking at Bucky pointing to the sandwich “Appease us both and take a bite Buck.” Rolling his eyes Bucky shoves the po boy in his mouth, chomping. They both stare at him as the noise that comes out of his throat is nothing short of sexual. “TOLD YOU!” Steve says as he kicks Bucky under the table. Sarah laughs patting his arm “You enjoy that sweety, we’ll figure everything out. This isn’t my first rodeo with a douchebag.” Bucky sighs, and listens as they continue to talk and plan. The itch between his shoulders won’t let up. An icy feeling slides resides in his stomach as he watches a man in a business suit walk away from the food truck and gets in a black sedan. “How do you feel about that Buck?” His attention is drawn back to Steve, “Sorry, what?” Steve smiles nudging his foot. “Gonna stay in my Mom’s guest house until we can find an apartment. My job doesn’t start for another couple of weeks. I mean…. that is assuming you’ll live with me. We can get a two room, that way ya know….” Steve stammers hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Wait what? You actually...Steve you barely know me you can’t just let me live with you.” Bucky stammers. “As I’ve lived two feet away from you for the past ten days and you haven’t tried to murder me in my sleep, I think we’re good to go Buck.” Steve scoffs at Bucky who rolls his eyes at a loss for words he mumbles “Whatever punk.” “Shut up jerk” Steve says nudging him lovingly with his elbow as he takes a giant bite of his po-boy. “This should be fun” Sarah says clapping her hands together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously I hated this chapter. I rewrote it 18 times (or what felt like 18 times) and second guessed everything about it.   
> Let me know how you really feel!!! Kudos and comments seriously help everything. Y'all are the best for sticking with this fic thus far!


	9. Chocolate, Waffles & Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, breakfast, and a lead up to conflict....all my favorite things.

“Steve” Bucky panted rything his body on the bed “Ohhh Steve please”. Smirking Steve continued the slow slide of his tongue up Bucky’s spine picking up every trace of the chocolate sauce trail that he had created with his finger. At his shoulders when the chocolate ran out he nipped across the blades, enjoying the way the muscles quivered. “You’re so beautiful baby” He whispers in Bucky’s ear, voice gruff, capturing his earlobe between his teeth and sucking before dipping his finger back in the warm sauce.  Lips pressed against his ear Steve let out a breath “I can’t wait to put my cock in your tight little hole.” He let his caress trail down Bucky’s lower back, dipping between his cheeks to touch his hole. Bucky flinched at the warm sensation as his cock throbbed, trapped beneath him. “So fuckin’ needy” Steve’s voice was husky as he swept his tongue between the pert ass cheeks, letting it go deeper and deeper before it flicked over his hole. Bucky’s body convulsed at the touch as Steve slowly slipped a lubed finger into him. “Dammit baby look at you, taking it so easily.” “Need more Steve” Bucky panted desperately, rocking his body back, fucking himself on Steve’s finger slowly. The moan caught in his throat as Steve added a second “Love when you fuck yourself on me doll, love watching your sweet hole take it so well.” Awe was all Steve could feel, watching this beautiful man shaking as he added a third finger, rocking fervently into the pleasure. “Need you baby, need you in me so bad.” Bucky whined, desperate to be full.  “Turn over for me doll” Bucky scrambled over, cock bouncing against his abs leaving smears of precum that Steve couldn’t help but bend over and lick. Blue eyes pierced into Bucky’s as he slowly trailed his tongue across the wet lines, making Bucky’s hips bow off the bed, trying to find purchase for his cock. Steve smiled and placed a kiss with kitten licks along the head. “Stevvveeee, I can’t. Need you.” Bucky whined, his gray eyes boring into Steve’s. Steve smiled fondly at the man, slowly rubbing lube across his hard cock. “You’ve done so good Buck, so good for me.” Pushing the head slowly into Bucky’s waiting hole, Steve’s head falls back in pleasure as Bucky’s warmth slowly surrounds him. “Fuck” exhaling and pushing farther in, maintaining the gentle glide, Steve watches Bucky as his hands clinch into the bedspread, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he stares up at Steve, eyes pleading for more. “Want more baby?” Steve asks, knowing the pace is killing them both, Bucky nods and Steve flicks his hips sliding in fully. Bucky’s hands release the comforter and reach for Steve just as Steve leans over, capturing Bucky’s lips with his own as his arms circle around Steve’s shoulders, embracing him. The pace is slow and burning, each time his cock drags out of Bucky, head nearly coming out of the rim, he slides along Bucky’s prostate before sliding back in and rubbing over the bundle of nerves again. Bucky is warmth and light, reveling in the pleasure and the heat that’s building all over his body. Fingernails trailing down Steve’s back as Steve’s breath quickens in his ear. Turning his head he meets Steve’s lips with his own again in a searing kiss, capturing the moan as he tightens his muscles around Steve’s cock. Knowing he’s close, Steve fucks into Bucky faster, grasping the other man’s neglected cock and pumping in time with his thrusts. Bucky watches the muscles ripple across Steve’s shoulders and arms as he strains, so close to cumming. Bucky rocks down onto the cock, matching Steve’s brutal pace as they both go over the edge, moaning the other’s name.

*

The two bedroom apartment is located in industrial downtown Augusta Maine, a ten minute drive from Steve’s Mom’s house, and right above the coffee shop that has become their new addiction and Bucky’s new place of employment. Bucky smiles as Steve  hands him a towel as they get out of the shower. “Gonna make breakfast before I head into work, I got about thirty minutes. Pancakes or waffles?” Steve asks, dragging on a pair of boxers. “I swear I’m on to you and your mom’s mission to fatten me up,” Bucky says nudging him with his elbow, “but waffles, always waffles.” Bucky says smiling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve says innocently before flicking him with a towel and walking out.

Looking in the mirror Bucky can’t help but feel different, running his hands through his now short hair and realizing the dark circles are almost gone from under his eyes. ‘So this is happiness’ he thinks, grinning at himself and pulling on his clothes for work. Walking into their kitchen the overwhelming feeling washes over Bucky, the one where his heart beats a little faster and his breath catches. There’s Steve blending ingredients and dancing in place to whatever swing music is playing on their Alexa. Wrapping his arms around the man’s impossibly small waist Bucky lays his head between the broad shoulder blades, content. Steve stills, patting Bucky’s arms. “You okay?” he asks, brow furrowed as he turns taking Bucky’s face in his hands. Smiling Bucky looks up at Steve “I love you.” He says it simply, heart catching as he sees Steve’s grin. “I love you too,” he replies, kissing Bucky softly, relishing the moment. “What times your shift?” Bucky smiles answering “I go in at eight, Shelly said it's a mad house in the mornings, which is great because that makes the day go by faster.” Bucky sits on the counter watching Steve pour the batter in. “When are you coming home from the university?” “Probably late, got to get my syllabus ready for term in a week.” “You gonna wear those cute horn rim glasses?” Bucky asks mischievously licking batter off his finger. Steve smiles and winks “Maybe.” Bucky’s eyebrows raise “Well then maybe I should come by when I get off, help you break in your new office.” Steve know it’s a bad idea, but he just can’t help it, he stands between Bucky’s spread thighs running his hands up them as he kisses him softly “Maybe you should, wouldn’t mind seeing you bent over my desk” Bucky moans in the back of his throat, letting his head fall to the side as Steve kisses along his jaw line. “Hey Steve” He mumbles, legs tightening around Steve’s waist, “Yeah baby?” Steve murmurs nipping along his neck. “I think your waffle's burning.” He laughs as Steve says “Shit!” and runs to the waffle iron plopping the crispy waffle on a plate. Turning he sees Bucky is bright red, biting his lip. “Eat your waffle Buck.” He adds kissing him softly on the nose before going to get dressed. 

As the two walk out the door they don’t know that four miles away a man is at a store buying a nine millimeter glock. They don’t know that the man smiles when he buys the hollow points, or that he also knows of a place he wants to go for a cup of coffee and to get his property back, no matter what it takes. The two go their separate ways, kissing goodbye and smiling not knowing what’s about to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos make everything better. Let me know how you feel about things. Find me on tumblr @ ha-love-ally to complain, be my bff, and look at the massive amount of nerdy shit I post. :)


	10. Coffee and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the part where all the conflict happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/Triggers: Gun violence and Blood

Bucky smiled as he handed over, to what was probably his one hundredth customer in three hours, their large, skim, extra shot, extra-hot, extra-whip, sugar-free caramel macchiato. He smiled and waved as the lady marched out. “Jesus is it always like that?!” He asked, eyebrows raised and a grin on his face. Chuckling and handing him a rag Carol - the store manager shrugged “Sometimes. Monday’s are the busiest. People don’t know how to function Monday mornings without a little kick.” Bucky laughed “I guess they don’t, that was crazy. I loved it.” ‘Hard worker’ Carol thought, been a while since she didn’t have some college kid who half-assed their job, it was a nice change of pace for sure. “ James can you go back and grab another gallon of whole milk from the back? Top Shelf.” “I’ve told you, call me Bucky, James makes me feel like I’m in trouble, and for sure!” Glancing at the clock above counter out of habit, eleven on the dot, ‘Steve was probably getting ready for a lunch break’ he smiled. 

Searching through the massive refrigerator the door was closing behind him when he heard it; an unmistakable sound, vibrating through his being and sending a shiver up his spine. Without thinking he ran. Busting through the backroom door his face drained of all of its color as the cold seeped through; Carol lying on the floor staring up at him blood painting her shirt near her shoulder, slowly seeping through, her eyes wide with shock. Looking up at the metal ‘click’ of a trigger Bucky’s eyes met with Sean Reeve’s cold green stare. “Hey James. Time to go home.” A sick smile twisted his face. 

***

Steve felt damn good. His packed syllabus full of 1885 Post Impressionism through the Fauvism and Expressionism period of 1935. With any luck he was going to blow at least a few sophomore art major’s minds. Glancing at his watch and seeing 10:45am showing back was just a sign that he deserved a thirty minute coffee break. Grabbing his keys he walked to the car. Glancing at his own reflection, and smirking, maybe he’d flirt a bit with Bucky wearing his glasses, leave him on the edge of hot and bothered before going back to the office. That’s what a good boyfriend would do, and Jesus he wanted to be a good for him. Not just a boyfriend. No, he needed him for the rest of it, the whole shabang.  He already bought the ring, it was sitting in his office drawer; waiting for when Bucky had settled in before asking. The thought of asking him, maybe taking him on a train ride to New York again and watching his face as the wonderment took over and then kneel and wait for him to look back down, made Steve grin to himself so hard his cheeks started to hurt.

Pulling into the coffee shop’s parking lot next to a giant black sedan he locked his car and walked around the front. As his hand closed around the handle of the glass entry door he saw them. A man in a business suit, blonde hair and tall,  facing the counter with a gun raised at Bucky who stood paralyzed face drained of color. Steve’s heart hammered as he wrenched his hand into his pocket, dialing 911 watching the scene, when the operator picked up Steve said as quickly as possible “There’s a man with a gun at The Beanery Coffee shop on 26th and Main St. Get someone here now.” He hung up and stepped inside.

The bell to the coffee shop door rang, making both men jolt. Sean’s head turned as Bucky exclaimed “Steve?! No!” looking at him horrified. “Well lucky fucking me,” the man smirked “the golden boy has arrived.” Holding his hands up in a defenseless measure Steve’s voice was deep, brows furrowed in concern “Sir listen, you don’t have to do this. We can just open the register and you can be on your way. No harm no foul.” He said slowly walking around the tables, mind set on getting between Bucky and the gun. “HA!” Sean’s laughter spit out, “You think this is about some fucking money? Oh no no no, I have all the money I need. YOU” he said pointing the gun at Steve, stalling his movement “took my fucking property.” “SEAN NO!” Bucky startled, as realization clicked in Steve’s mind with the name. “You’re not here for him. Remember?!” Bucky said drawing the attention back to him. “I ran away Sean. This has nothing to do with him.” Sean’s eyes widened “Oh, you think I don’t know? That’s precious.” He said scathingly. “I’ve watched for weeks now. I saw you two get off the train, all lovey dovey.” He spit. “I saw you move into the apartment. I could practically hear you two fucking.” He ended hand shaking causing a vicious nervous rattle around the gun. The silence that followed was filled with the distant sound of sirens. “You don’t have to do this Sean. You can leave, nothing will happen.” Steve said, voice calm despite the way his hands shook. Glancing out of the corner of his eyes he saw Bucky move around to stand in front of the counter.  Sean’s breathing was harsh as three police cars screeched in front of the coffee shop. “I AM LEAVING WITH WHAT IS MINE!” Spit flying as he turned the gun toward Bucky. Steve’s world stopped. Bucky’s eyes met his in a knowing look, one that said too many goodbyes without a single goddamn word. Multiple things happened during those precious seconds: the door flew open as several officers, guns drawn rushed in, Sean pulled the trigger, and Steve lunged. Bucky would never forget the sound of a bullet hitting flesh. He would never forget Steve’s gasp. He would never know what Sean looked like in cuffs, because Steve, his Steve was lying on the ground as blood seeped through the hole in his right side and on to Bucky's hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T THROW THINGS AT ME! I procrastinated on this chapter to write a BDSM story (go check it out "Call Me Sir") because it made me happy and this chapter, although short, just about ripped my guts out. I suck at writing violence and sadness. Bleh. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. So close to the finish line with this one!!!! Then I'm gonna write fluff for a while, because dammit this world needs more fluff, kink, and hardcore dom!Steve. *rant over* 
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](love-ha-ally.tumblr.com)


	11. Blood and Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the shooting.

“No no no no no.” Unaware of the words coming out of his mouth, Bucky sat in the back of the ambulance, horrified as they shoved a tube into Steve’s side. The result was close to a gallon of blood spewing from his body, splattering the two EMT’s and Bucky’s shoes. Unphased the woman held the stethoscope to his chest,  listening intently over the wails of the sirens before saying “ Dammit, he’s got a pneumothorax in his right cavity, get me a ten gage.” Needles passed hands and jabbed into Steve, relief coming from the crew when the puff of air released from his chest. The reprieve lasted eight solid seconds, before the monitor flat lined. “NO!” Bucky shouted, tears pouring as the man began to furiously pump Steve’s chest, the resulting blood squelching from the tube kept coming. The ambulance screeched to a holt and the man straddled Steve as the doors were flung open. A team of people in various states of scrubs and white coats crowded and brought the stretcher down as the man continued to pump furiously. “Twenty-nine year old GSW to the chest, has a pneumothorax in the right cavity, relieved in the field, chest tube inserted, flatlined thirty seconds ago, needs to be shocked.” The last thing Bucky saw as the doors to the ER closed and he emerged from the ambulance alone, was Steve’s body bowing off the hospital bed as one thousand volts pulsed through him.f

***

Bucky sat in a chair covered in Steve’s blood,  pale and eyes glazed as he stared out the window of the waiting room. That’s how Sarah found him. Sitting beside him she slowly cupped his cheek, the resulting flinch made her wince. “Hey. ” She said, tears brimming her eyes as they had the whole drive over. She wouldn’t let them fall, not until she knew one way or the other.  Eyes clearing Bucky gazed at Sarah in horror “I….I’m so sorry” Bucky sobbed, thrusting his head into his own hands and curling into a ball. “You have no reason to apologize.” Sarah replied, running her fingers through Bucky’s hair in even strokes. “You weren’t holding the gun sweetheart.” Bucky stilled looking up at her “Sarah it was Sean Reeves. He came for me. This is all my fault.”  Sarah gave him a sad smiled, “Not buying it. Steve jumping in front of a gun is what Steve would do for anyone. Doesn’t matter who was holding it or at the other end. He wouldn’t want you to be beat yourself up. Come here baby.” She said pulling Bucky into her arms as he sobbed. “I love him Sarah, so fucking much.” His tears drenched through her blouse. As he sobbed she let a tear fall and thought ‘If love was enough then the two of us wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.’  She rocked him as she would Steve when he was little and had a nightmare, wishing that this was all just a bad dream.

***

Fourteen hours, five blood transfusions, bypass, and an arterial lung repair later, Steve was taken back to the ICU on the shakey ground that he would live if he could make it through the night. Cots were set up for Bucky and Sarah, who refused to leave. Within forty eight hours Steve was weaned off the ventilator, to Sarah and Bucky’s great relief, his first breath on his own was shaky but one they would never forget. It was on his eightieth hour that Steve’s eyes fluttered open, the pain radiating through him was just on the edge of sharp. Looking down he saw Bucky, head pillowed  on Steve’s thigh, hand gripping Steve’s even in his sleep. At the movement in the corner of the room he glanced up. “Mom” He croaked out. “Shh” Sarah said, skirting around Bucky’s sleeping form to stroke Steve’s face. “Hi baby.” She finally let the tears she had been holding fall, as she leaned in kissing his forehead. “Is everyone okay?”He asked when she pulled away. She smiled, of course he would be worried about everyone but himself, “The manager is fine, through and through shot, clean.” Steve nodded, although it took some work. “Bucky?” He asked looking down in concern at the sleeping man. Sarah smiled, “Also fine. Possibly traumatized for the rest of his natural born life, but physically fine.” She smiled. “He didn’t leave your bed side once, which is why he is wearing scrubs, a nice nurse took away his clothes that were soaked, and gave him a pair.” Steve smiled down at the sleeping man. “I love him so much.”  “I think that’s a given darling.” She said stroking his face. 

As the nurse came in apologizing profusely as she flicked on the light to take Steve’s vitals, Bucky’s eyes blinked open. “Steve!” ignoring the nurse completely, his lips found Steve’s in a searing kiss. Pulling back he frowned “Don’t you ever do that again! Do you hear me?! Stepping in front of a fucking gun Steve? Jesus Christ.” Steve smiled and rolled his eyes at the man, “Really and my alternative was to let him shoot the man I love? Listen punk, you gotta realize I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.” He tugged Bucky’s hand so that he stumbled down to the bed “Now kiss me again, it makes me feel better.” Awkwardly holding her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff the nurse looked between the two. “You know what, your heart rate is off the charts right now… I’m gonna um come back later….”she said before stepping out. 

Steve smiled as Bucky pulled away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against his. “Well you know what you have to do to make this better don’t you?” Steve asked, brushing his nose against Bucky’s softly. Bucky smiled “I would literally do anything for you. Name it and it’s done.” Steve grinned cheekily “Marry me?”  Bucky beamed as his heart skipped a beat, “Done. Next request?” He asked jokingly, grabbing Steve’s face in his hands their lips collided again in the kiss that sealed the deal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you for sticking with this fic! I know this is a short ending, I went back and forth on doing the typical "epilogue-wedding-happily-ever-after" scene, but it didn't feel right. Kudos and Comments make life better!!! I'm working on a new story titled "Call Me Sir". Please give it a read if you're into kinky-fuckery :) Thanks again!!!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr: love-ha-ally  
> Kudos, comments, and (constructive) criticism always make my heart happy.


End file.
